I Wore The Dress.

You may remember that I recently mentioned a dress that I had bought to attend an engagement party with the Bestie. Well, I wore the dress at the party. It had the desired effect.

Every guy that saw me did a double take. The guys that I had known for years but hadn’t seen in a long time couldn’t believe it was me. You should have seen my transformation.

I used to be a chubby, size 16, 5 ft 5 busty blonde. Well, I’d say a size 14 really but some shops needed me to go a size up. I tried to avoid those shops.

I have a great personality (so I think, and have been told) and I have a lot of great qualities about me. I have a pretty face too, when I’m all made up. Without makeup, I’m not so hot. Normally I’m a Barbie bleach blonde but right now, it’s more of a dirty blonde because I needed to give my poor fried hair a break.

I’m now a size ten in most places. I’m still fairly busty so I need a 12 on top. Occasionally a 14. I’m happier. I’m more mature. I’m a knockout. I know this because EVERYONE is telling me.

I put a photo of me in that dress, hair down (I rarely wear it down), red lips, eye liner flicks and burgundy seriously-high wedges.

One of the guys I worked with messaged me to tell me that he would “try not to get an erection when he’s around me at work after seeing me in that dress”. I have got over 70 likes on Facebook; the ultimate popularity contest, and soooooo many comments, all people telling me how utterly fabulous I look.

This is what the people are saying to me –

• “Look at you!! You look amazing!! You should be so proud of yourself you little skinny mini!!!”
• “Omg you teeny tiny little thing you look SO HOT”
• “Look at you all lady like and such you look stunning”

I got guys messaging me that have never even looked at me in THAT way before. I’m turning heads. That dress had every effect I wanted it to have and more. It was one hell of a dress.

Clearly, I got what I can only describe as white girl wasted. For some reason I still believed I could drink as much now as I did five years ago despite the fact I’m half the size, never drink anymore, and hadn’t eaten for the entire day. Three bottles of wine, two jaegarbombs and half a chicken burger later and I was a mess. That was Saturday night. It’s now Monday afternoon and I’m still hungover. It was most definitely worth it though.

I don’t remember a lot of the night to be fair but I do remember drinking and laughing and having fun and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? I snogged a girl. Standard. I also snogged the Bestie. Again, standard. I’ll probably avoid letting that slip to Jock though; I wouldn’t imagine he’d be overly impressed with that. What’s a harmless snog between friends anyway?

So yeah, my head hurts so I’m going back to bed. Just thought I’d let you know… the dress worked 😉